While journeying across the states, staying in small towns for no more than a few nights, Kerouac was able to obtain a life with no commitment or responsibility. Even if he was to make some sort of commitment to one of his many girls along the way, it wasn't unlike him to just pick up and leave. After all the only thing people around seemed to know about him was that he liked to drink. This leads to the other form of escape Kerouac used, the alteration of reality. Kerouac would mentally alter his perception of reality through the use of drugs and alcohol. "I was getting drunk and didn't care; everything was fine"(Kerouac 35). To him everything in life was fine as long as he was drunk. "He was beginning to drink heavily, and to drink whiskey and gin instead of just beer "(Nicosia 96). "That was only the beginning of his disillusionment. Jack began taking benzedrine and smoking marijuana"(Nicosia 102). Having the means by which he escapes, the question still remains what is Kerouac trying to escape? In order to understand this we must explore some of Jack's personal issues. A issue concerning Kerouac that is very often eluded to but never really spoken about in On The Road is his possible homosexuality. While Jack never actually "came out" about his sexuality, his close friends would often witness "Jack's participation in endless rounds of sex with both men and women"(Nicosia 102). Kerouac's homosexual tendencies caused an overriding psychological conflict: Kerouac was gay but despised homosexuals. "Jack talked incessantly about all the "big old fags" he knew"(Nicosia 493). Even though Kerouac would have homosexual encounters, he felt a private guilt over his homosexual feelings. In an attempt to ease his guilt Jack would denounce homosexuality, saying that "gay sex is not in my line"(Nicosia 142). Jack was obviously ashamed of his homosexual experiences and "fought all his life against the label queer"(Nicosia 154).