Parents need to make clear to their children that they did not cause the divorce and that both parents still love and care for them even though they might not be able to see them and be as involved in their life like they have previously been. .
Parents should be alert to signs of distress in their child or children. A study by Art Schneider, a Regional Human Development Specialist and Janet A. Clark, an Associate Program Leader and Associate State Specialist discussed the different age groups and their understandings, possible reactions, and strategies the parents should use to avoid negative reactions in a divorce. Infants obviously do not understand what the conflict is, but they may react to changes in their parents" energy level and mood. Possible infant reactions would be loss of appetite or an upset stomach; they might spit up more. Parents can prevent this by keeping to their normal routines as much as possible. They should act calm when they are around the baby and not ignore the baby's needs. .
Toddlers understand that a parent has moved away, but they don't understand why the parent moved away. Some possible child reactions are more crying, or clinging. They could have problems sleeping and go back to more infant behaviors. They may feel angry and worry when the parent is out of sight. They could withdraw and become irritable. Strategies that parents can use to help prevent these behaviors are sticking to as normal of routine as possible, be reassuring and nurturing. Allow some return to infant behaviors, but set obvious limits. Try to slow down and not be in a hurry all the time. Spend time one on one with the child, like reading with them. Give the child time with another responsive adult, like grandma and grandpa or a close friend. .
A preschooler does not know what separation or divorce means, but they realize that one parent is not as active in their lives. Possible child reactions are feeling uncertain about the future or feeling responsible for the divorce.