Everybody goes through times/pressures in life where we are trapped in a phase where all our thoughts are but a blur. We are "confused" and uncertain of what to do, what to believe, what to think, etc. Then we suddenly stop and ask ourselves, "Wait! What is the truth?? What is the right thing to do?" The real deal is that life, as it is, is already a confusing piece of art. Why stress ourselves out with more things to think about? Why not just let ourselves go, fly high and live free with imagination and the ability to think whatever no matter if it is in wrong or right. In the book, Bless Me Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya, the author expresses his point by saying that everybody goes through they same processes in life. Everybody comes to self knowledge by tasting everything that is given to them and figuring the truth behind it. Not everyone has the same truths, we find our own. Throughout this book, Antonio is confused with who the real "God" in his life is. By figuring out who the real God is, I think that he thinks he can figure out his destiny. A real God is not all he's looking for in life, but he is looking for a deeper meaning.something beyond life itself. Antonio is searching for something that would make sense to him because nothing seems clear to him. Tony's looking for God is a way of looking for himself and finding himself. The pressure to see God a certain way expresses his need to destine himself to find a meaning - a meaning in life, a meaning to anything that gives him strength in his soul.
We dream to explore - we grow to find our own truths. Antonio confuses himself with who to believe in because he is told all these different stories and such. The story of the Golden Carp felt enchanting to Tony. He felt as if it was something magical that was so rare that it was unbelievable. " I knew I had witnessed a miraculous thing, the appearance of a pagan god, a thing as miraculous as the curing of my Uncle Lucas.