PreMarital Counseling

            One major problem in our society today is divorce. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. This rate is extremely high, so high, in fact, that this is indeed a crisis. Divorce affects everyone involved; it leads to one or both partners being left broken and it is detrimental to children. My interest in this topic comes from being a child of parents who failed in their marriage. While I have read many books and articles on this subject, I can tell you first hand that Divorce is harmful to children. This is why we need to find a way to bring down this outrageous rate of divorce. While many religious communities have attempted to counteract the rate of divorce with premarital counseling programs, marriage counseling programs, and marriage education programs; it is up to our government to resolve this crisis with mandatory premarital counseling. Since I expect that a majority of you will one day be married, it is important that you seek out such programs and support efforts to make them mandatory. .
             Researchers have found that the leading contributors to divorce are four negative processes including: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and "stonewalling" (listener withdrawal). These negative processes can be deterred through premarital counseling. There are some programs already in place. These programs have the couples fill out a lengthy questionnaire with questions on the couples attitudes, backgrounds, and behavior styles. These questionnaires help the couples become aware of themselves and their relationship in ways they would not otherwise encounter. The answers are reviewed with older married couples. Some couples break off their engagements based on these questionnaires because they can see how incompatible they really are. .
             Another aspect of premarital counseling is teaching conflict management. This is important because it makes the couple aware that conflict is a normal part if relationships.