Maintaining good relationships hinges on a good understanding of each other. Sometimes this can be easily achieved, yet often times, people find themselves having a hard time with it. Even within a family, lack of understanding for each other can cause trivial inconveniences and quarrels, which tend to escalate into a serious fiasco in a course of time. As far as the relationship issue is concerned, John Wideman's "Our Time" can serve as a perfect example. .
The essay is a story about the author's brother, Robby, who is in prison for robbery and murder. Having no close relationship with his brother yet willing to know more about him, John decides to write a book about Robby. His intention, of course, is to understand his brother and his actions better through writing. The problem is the fact that he is not allowed to bring a pencil or a tape recorder while talking to his brother in prison. Being forced to rely on his memory, Wideman, after talking to his brother, grasps the words spoken by his brother out of his mind and transfers them on the paper. However, soon the author finds that he is hindering himself from listening to his brother when his own memories start to overflow, obstructing his ability to pay close attention to Robby's words. Instead of listening, "[he keeps] thinking, anticipating what he would say next, how he would say it" (767). Eventually, he has to completely shut his train of thoughts down to listen. His entire essay is to show his conflict when working to know his own brother better; even the way he writes causes confusion, which also signifies his state of mind. .
Wideman is faced with a big conflict. When he listens to his brother's story, he finds that the Robby he used to know is different from what he really is. However, he realizes that if he stops thinking on his own and accepts what his brother says, he will lose all the important segments that will provide understanding of Robby's life.