Our conversations rarely included our feelings toward each other. This juvenile method played a crucial part in the destruction of the relationship. .
To enhance my communication skills, I need to change the approach I use in communicating my feelings about my partners actions. In doing this, I have to develop a comfortable way to confront my partner with conflicts that I am experiencing. This avoidance style of communication prevents the necessary time for intimacy to develop (Tardif, Oct 8, 2001). The longer I hold in my anger, the more I am pushing away my partner. I need to build a rapport with him so I can discuss any topic weather it is about our relationship, my feelings or events. This rapport needs to begin at the beginning of the relationship. I need to bring up my concerns as soon as they surface. To do this, I need to recognize my feelings and make my partner aware of my needs. Instead of accusing my partner of what he does or does not do, I need to be direct and clear about my needs. Instead of holding in my anger and feelings, I need to make it known so the problem can be solved. (Tardif, Oct 8, 2001). .
While discussing my feelings with my partner, I need to point out the positive characteristics that he has. In addition, I need to tell him the thing he does that makes me feel good about myself. Positive reinforcement "increases intimacy" (Olsen, DeFrain, 2000, p.291). By telling him how good he is at a certain trait, he will build self-confidence (Olsen, DeFrain, 2000, p.291). We will both develop a greater respect for each other.
To build intimacy, I need to develop excellent communication skills. According to Olsen and DeFrain (2000), intimacy is created by; praising your partner, listening to your partner, understand what they are feeling or saying, summarizing what you understood, sharing your feelings and avoid blaming or name calling (p.291). Communication skills are very important to develop and maintain an intimate relationship.