A Beautiful Thing

            
             Yow Essay 2 A Beautiful Thing Lucy Grealy, in her essay "Mirrors", gives an awesome portrayal of how our external being, as seen by others, shapes and influences our own feelings of inner worth. The author breaks down the true definition of individuality, pointing out that "individualism" is really nothing more than the way society perceives us. For example, when Lucy was young, her family and doctors rewarded her good behavior (i.e. silence) during chemotherapy by exclaiming, "What a brave little girl." Unfortunately, this type of "praise" installed a false and unhealthy sense of self in Lucy. She became attached to this courageous, stalwart disposition, feeling that her reticence contributed to the approval, attention, and acceptance she received from others. Grealy states, " if I broke down, this would be seen as despicable in the eyes of both my parents and doctors. I got tired of being brave, every week I told myself not to cry and every week I failed (50)." The author felt that by shedding tears, she had somehow failed to cooperate effectively, leaving disappointment in the heart of her most sought after audience, her parents. Like so many of us experience today, L. Grealy linked her "broken" life and lack of self-confidence to her outward, flawed appearance. To illustrate, she writes: "I didn't feel I could pass up yet another chance to fix my face, which I confusedly thought concurrent with fixing myself, my soul, my life (49)." In most cases, it is not necessarily our own face that humans most desire to change, but similarly, we mistakenly long for modification from the outside inward rather than the inside outward. We struggle with self-acceptance, and ascribe our inadequacy to external blemishes, an outside force, Amy Williams Dr.Yow Essay 2 which denies the possibility for self-assertion and growth. As individuals, when we take on the role of self-martyrdom, we cancel out the likelihood of change because we shift our own responsibility onto others in the form of blame.