The purpose was to show us the types of things that we could be susceptible to through our genetic heritage. Knowing that my father wasn't in anyway genetically connected to me, I thought this would be the excuse to ask my mother more about my biological father. I didn't know how she would respond to me. At that point we didn't really have the best mother/daughter relationship. She had just given birth to my sister, and it put me, my brother and my father in a strange situation. All of us were on the edge all of the time. So I suspected that asking her about this man from her past wouldn't be a pleasant experience. I was correct in all my assumptions. She was not willing to have a discussion about this guy and made it exceptionally clear to never ask about him again. So that is where I left this curious issue for many years.
Just before my wedding my mom and I went out to dinner. By this time my relationship with my mom has changed drastically and we were more open with each other and were able to have conversations with each other without it ending in a screaming match. During dinner we were talking about how my father and my grandfather were going to walk me down the aisle together. Suddenly she asked me if I wanted my biological father to be notified about the wedding. I was absolutely stunned! In all the years, she picked now to bring this up? I was speechless. Finally I told her that I would never desire for that to happen. I wanted so much to continue this conversation, but I didn't know what to ask. There were so many things that had crossed my mind all through the years, and I couldn't find a place to start. I sat in silence and waited for her to reveal something to me. The moment had passed. I felt like she had realized what she was talking about and wanted so much to take back the words that she had already said. I couldn't force her to say anything else. I could see the hurt in her face.