There is nothing more exhilarating than biting into a warm apple pie, and then washing it down with a glass of cold milk. A perfect pie contains three ingredients: apples, crust, and estrogen. Now one may wonder why estrogen is a key ingredient, but only women are gifted with the genetics to make the perfect pie. Every woman has the genetic potential to produce a mouth watering pie, but often it needs to be released through the donning of an apron and the handling of a wooden spoon. Woman-made pies, which can be referred to as "woman pies," are far superior to their competition, the "man pie.".
Woman pie has a much more distinct taste than man pie. When one bites into a heaping fork full of woman pie, they first taste the crispy crust that lattices the top of the pie like a design on a quilt. Then the warm, but not too hot, filling of fresh ingredients manifests itself through the crust. This allows the pie connoisseur to taste the freshness of the ingredients, as well as the wholesome taste that results through every encounter with woman pie. The final stage makes or breaks the pie, and that is the thick crust on the end. Commonly referred to as the "handle," the edge of the pie must definitely be made by a woman to get that soft, tender crust feel that is smooth going down. Man pie on the other hand is a disaster as far as taste is concerned. Man pie crust often has the consistency of a pizza box, and all too often tastes similar to one. The filling is often dumped unevenly throughout the pre-made crust, which results in the uneven cooking of the pie. One can distinguish a man pie from its inconsistent temperature throughout. One bite may be entirely too warm, while the next bite will be similar to ice cube. The "handle" on the man pie is notorious for not even being touched. Some argue that the man pie handle may possibly be the leading cause of cancer; however, it is highly unlikely that something that tastes somewhere between a pizza box and a burnt piece of toast could contain carcinogens.