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Addressed to the women of the audience, Ruskin gives a contradictory and enigmatic description of the role of a woman; in the first paragraph of Sesame and Lilies he states that both sexes are equal but not alike, and that one is not superior to the other. He then goes on to explain that as opposed to the role of a man, his duty being intellectual, "for speculation and invention" and physical, "for war" and "battle", (Para 2), the wife's place is in the home to "secure its order, comfort, and loveliness", (Para 6). Where he states that both sexes are equal, he makes a clear distinction between the strong intellectual male and the weaker, fairer sex who is protected by her husband.
In paragraph 13 Ruskin then goes on to represent the woman as a "Queen" in her household, to rule in her own home and to care for, "feed and clothe" and to morally guide, "direct and teach" her husband and sons. Ruskin believes the wife must stay at home and "shut yourselves within" and let the man do the fighting, she must support him and rule their minds rather than in physical way, the husband must do the fighting because it is in "their nature". .
The man prefers the wife to stay at home and be a good mother, to be "tender and delicate" (para 14). It is a safe haven for the man; an escape from the horrors of the world outside the home; greed and murder are some of the examples Ruskin gives. .
Ruskin's tone of voice changes from didactic to moralistic, in paragraphs 15 and 16 where he takes on a more poetic mode, " the harebells should bloom, not stoop,-, he refers to flowers in the garden rather than her husband and sons, (para 15). He tells us that with the woman's protection and her constant love of all that she cherishes around her in the garden, her home, she can make everything " bloom" and repel the bad things in life. Ruskin explains that the woman could use her power to make all in her garden right, to flower and blossom with a quote from the Song of Solomon, 4:16, "Come, though south, and breathe upon my garden, that the spices of it may flow out".