Half of all marriages today will end in divorce. In previous generations, it was not surprising to hear that a couple was celebrating their twenty- fifth, thirtieth, or even fiftieth wedding anniversary. Will any of the current generations celebrate these milestones? What can people do to increase the probability of a long and satisfying marital relationship? It takes hard work to maintain a healthy marriage.
Being able to communicate is one of the greatest assets in any relationship. Many people have heard that old joke: "How can you tell a married couple in a restaurant? They are the ones not talking to each other."" The statement is humorous on one level, but sadly typical on another. When the communication wanes, the relationship tends to wither. When communication stops, the relationship stops. All that remains is the more legal and historical connection. The true relating is gone. Communication helps smooth the rough spots in a relationship. Even in the best relationships a certain amount of dissimilarity, incompatibility, and conflict will arise. Some compromise will, therefore, be needed from time to time. Communication permits good negotiations to take place. Couples with good communication skills can negotiate fairly and successfully. They are the ones who can resolve their difficulties in a manner both find acceptable and comfortable to live with. Couples who cannot communicate cannot even attempt to solve their problems. For them, conflicts remain in the background fostering resentful feelings and slowly deteriorating the relationship. Communication is critical for a good relationship. But for communication to have any true value, it has to be honest.
Honesty is perhaps one of the most basic needs in a marriage. Without honesty, problems that may destroy the relationship can lie hidden for years, building momentum, creating blocks to intimacy, and then suddenly surfacing to wreak destruction in one's marriage.