We ended up having mutual friends between the two of us, so it was kind of like we already knew each other, but not really. We exchanged numbers, which led to late night conversations on the phone, then eventually going on dates and becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. Chris and I dated for eight months, and our breakup was quite crucial. To this day I hate that we actually broke up. It killed me on the inside to not be able to call him up and hear his voice whenever I wanted to. It was weird, that's when I started to actually realize I may be addicted. I developed some of the common symptoms of love addictions, such as: sense of worthlessness without a relationship or partner, feelings of not being whole outside of the relationship, and even manipulation to regain his love. It seems awkward to actually admit to these things but it's true.
The relationship that Chris and I have now is really weird. We will never give up our friendship, however, from time to time it seems as if we are more than just friends, or not friends at all. Maybe this is why my addiction is, in such a degree, intensified. The feeling of never knowing exactly where this will go is exciting. For most individuals after the loss of a relationship they go through a period of mourning but eventually resume normal lives and form new bonds. However, that isn't the case for me. The issues that we had, and still have, make it difficult for me to get over him, which makes future bonding, between me and other guys, even more strenuous. I constantly compare others to him, and realize that their personality and position in life do not compare in the least bit. I feel that Chris is original, one in a million, unique, my only true love, so it is impossible for me to find anyone who will satisfy my emotional needs as he does. The love that Chris and I had made me feel safe, protected from the world, trusted, full of joy, and complete.