It is a beautiful, sunny day and I am stuck on this horrible, drab looking bus called the "Greygoose." You see, the "Greygoose" is a shuttle bus for inmates traveling between prisons, and my destination today is San Quentin State prison. I have just been sentenced to two years in state prison for committing armed robbery. As this is my first offense the judge went easy on me. As we travel up I80 past the San Francisco bay I am struck with fear, wondering what will happen to me in there and if I will I ever get out alive.
I have been told all kinds of horror stories about what prison will be like, but nothing could have prepared me for what was ahead. As we get off the freeway and turn the corner, there it looms, my new home, one of California's largest and oldest correctional facilities. We pull up to the first of three gates, and an officer climbs aboard and starts calling out names. (He's just making sure one of us did not squeeze through one of the quarter-sized holes in the window, I guess.) Everyone is here just like the last three times we did this. We get through the last gate and are driving through the yard and come to a stop in front of a building that says "Receiving." We are called off the bus one by one. At this point I want to cry, reality is setting in on me. I really screwed up this time.
We are ushered into receiving in groups of five. Once inside we are told to strip and then are subjected to a very thorough examination. They sure don't miss a thing. "Run your fingers through your hair, show your hands front and back, lift up your scrotum, and then (the grand finale) bend over and spread "em," they instruct. This is where I actually have to laugh! These officers have the daunting task of looking up my ass with a flash light. What fun! After we are done with the cavity search we are issued our new clothes: a bright new very fashionable orange jumpsuit (everyone is wearing them) that is just a little too small for me.