It is about becoming a person who can lover others and server others as Jesus did. One of the main problems with this idea is the issue of control. From our families to our jobs, even into recreation and, we live in a society where control is important to us. This carries over into the spiritual realm as well. We have no problem talking about the idea of becoming spiritually conformed as long as we can set limits and have control during our journey. The idea that Mulholland is trying to get across, is that in order to better live a life for Christ, we have to change from the idea that we are the subjects that controls our lives, to the true idea that we are actually the subjects which are controlled by a greater being, GOD! Being conformed is not about giving up everything you believe in or subjecting yourself to the will of others, but it is more about offering yourself to God in a way that can enable him to do the transforming for us. .
The third step in Mulhaolland's definition of spiritual formation is the image of Christ. This is perhaps on of the most important parts of the definition. Essentially that is why we live and should be our ultimate goal, to live in the image of Christ. This doesn't mean that we have to be perfect, because none of us are, but it does mean that we should strive to be as close to perfect for God as we can. This means to live a life of forgiveness and compassion. To be people who take God's grace that he had for us, and branch that grace out to others. God understands that we are a people who are broken and sin, but yet it is still his desire that we should become his children. In order to be conformed to the image of Christ, we must open the door to God and let him come in and do the transforming, it will not be forced upon us.
The final part of the definition is for the sake of others. The sole purpose of our creation and our salvation is to be in relationship with God and others.