Divorce is the hardest things some people will ever go through. It is something that completely derails lives. Divorce can be particularly hard to overcome if you are a child since it usually turns the world completely upside down. When looking at what these children go through, the ways you can help them, and how it effects the entire family, it becomes clear that divorce is something that effects everyone in different ways.
The effects of divorce vary by age. For example an infant may begin to cry and fuss more frequently than before the divorce. They also may change their sleeping and napping patterns. Toddlers will recognize that one parent no longer lives at home, and have trouble separating from them. Some will have nightmares and lose skills such as potty training. Elementary students often blame themselves for the divorce and have fantasies about their parents reuniting. Older children (such as middle and high school students) often feel abandoned by the parent who moves out, and try to take on adult responsibilities to fill the role left vacated.
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There are many different ways to help a child struggling with these problems. When an infant becomes fussy, reassure it with your affection and loving words. Toddlers have trouble separating from their parents because they are frightened that the other parent may leave as well. In this situation it may be helpful to try arriving at day care or the babysitters earlier than usual and spend some one-on-one time with them before you leave to ease the separation. Elementary children have fantasies about the reunion of their parents because they struggle with the difference between fantasy and reality. A gentle reminder that divorce is final is a good way to help them realize that this is not likely to occur. Teenagers often get worried about adult things, such as the family's financial situation, during a divorce. If a teenager tries to take on adult responsibilities, assign age appropriate chores (helping with laundry, doing the dishes, ect.