Satircal essay on funding for education

            Ontario, Canada is a beautiful place to live. However, this wonderful province is not without it's problems. One increasing problem in Ontario is money for education, or rather, the lack of money in education. To aid this problem, several smaller elementary schools are being closed. Some of these schools are closing because they are too small to fit the funding formula and others are closing because their board must make cutbacks in order to qualify for funding to build new schools in another area. These school closings will displace at least 25,000 children across the province. There is an easier, beneficial, financial-friendly solution that will not rob innocent children of an education. The answer is this: rent out rooms, coatrooms, lockers, laundry rooms, and any spare spaces in elementary and secondary schools to prisoners in overpopulated prisons North America. This proposal would greatly enrich Ontario's education. Renting out rooms in elementary and secondary schools to prisoners would bring more money into education in Ontario, scare problem children, and provide criminals with a fitting punishment or reward.
             Elementary and Secondary schools in Ontario would obtain more money by renting their spare rooms to over populated prisons. It is no secret that schools are closing all over the province because of insufficient funding. This problem cannot be solved by fundraising or bake sales. However, there is a solution. Remember the old elementary school coatrooms in the backs of classes? If a few jail bars are added, a mini jail can easily be created. An estimation concludes that the number of elementary schools in Ontario is approximately 2040, assuming every city has the same amount of elementary schools as Windsor. The number of secondary schools amounts to approximately 400 under the same assumptions. Note: this estimation does not include very small cities. If one took 2040 inmates from the most over populated prisons and placed 1 in each coat room ranging from grade 1 to 8, accounting to 8 in each school, then 255 schools will profit.