John Proctor's sin of adultery puts him in a state of despair where he seems to be completely hopeless and utterly discouraged. No matter how much he tries to reconcile with his wife their relationship will never be the same and Proctor knows this. Not only his wife, but also God, seems not to forgive his sins. This cloud of despair in his life only seems to worsen with the circumstances of the trials and his wife being accused by the woman he commits adultery with. In The Crucible, John's greatest challenge is to overcome his personal despair by cleansing his soul of guilt and by also using the adultery to discredit Abigail's testimony. By Proctor revealing his deepest secret, he overcomes his internal conflicts and reaches a place of personal salvation in his life.
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John Proctor's relationship has been forever damaged by his mistake of committing adultery with a much younger girl who used to be his servant. It seems as if he will never have to reveal what has happened with Abigail until the sudden outbreak of supposed witchery sweeps the town of Salem. John knows for sure that the whole witch trials are a hoax because Abigail told her while they were alone which only worsens the situation with his wife. However, Proctor realizes that he must put a stop to the madness by telling the court what he has heard, but he also knows that somehow the whole affair with Abigail will come out. This conflict puts him in a state of despair where he feels that he has erred so badly that not even God can find forgiveness for what he has done. Although Proctor has difficulty he finally brings to light the affair with Abigail and therefore erases the guilt he has in his heart. Adultery may blacken his name but internally he is able to overcome his despair and reach personal salvation and peace with himself. To John Proctor, being condemned to die for a false cause is better than living with sin lurking in his heart.