Whether parents should try to communicate with each other depends upon several factors, such as safety of either parent and/or children; history of communication between the parents (problem solving, unresolved arguments, or the use of violence and intimidation to control the other parent); ability of parents to focus the conversation on the children, now that parents live separately; willingness of each parent to end a conversation respectfully if tension escalates; willingness and ability of each parent to use written communication such as journals, e-mail, and letters if telephone or face-to-face communication is difficult or impossible
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III - How can parents help children cope with divorce?.
Children's reactions to all experiences in their lives depend on the skills they have developed, their histories, their individual temperaments, and their current situations. A child's reactions to parents restructuring their family may be similar to the reactions of other children the same age, but they will also be unique, because each child is unique. I can describe some general expectations and offer some suggestions for children of different ages, but each parent will have to determine if they fit or are appropriate for their particular child. .
Many reactions are predictable if you know a child's age and stage of development. A parent can use his/her understanding of his/her child's needs and likely reactions to prevent some of her distress, and to help her cope with her concerns. When they do this well, their child will keep developing in healthy ways, the relationship will be strengthened, and both of them will learn skills that will be helpful in the future.
Some parents may not be able to follow some of these suggestions if they"re not going to be spending regular time with their child. If the other parent isn't supportive of them as they try to maintain a relationship with the child, its going to be harder to help the child.