Sonny's Blues is an excellent example of the many misunderstandings and conflicts that are interwoven into the sibling relationship. It is also a good example of the sense of responsibility often felt among the firstborn. Unfortunately, there is often detachment and intolerance toward the younger siblings. This is evident in the first three paragraphs of the story. Sonny is arrested, yet his brother does not hear about it from Sonny. His knowledge of the arrest comes from the newspaper, and he makes no attempt to help or reach out to Sonny at this time in any way. The brothers had grown in different directions, but could not remain close. Sonny was a person his brother could not understand and he had long ago closed his mind to him.
Sonny is a creative, sensitive, introvert, struggling with self-doubt and a sense of inadequacy that his brother does not see at all. His brother is a math teacher. He is a logical person that only sees life in black or white, right or wrong. He refuses to understand the emotions and conflicts that Sonny has within him that led him down his path in life. He is completely insensitive to how much his brother must have needed him after his arrest and does not write to him or show any support for him until he himself finally experiences the loss of his daughter. There is almost a sense that this is the only time in his life that he has experienced an emotion that deeply. His complete lack of understanding as to why people become addicted to drugs gives an example of his lack of empathy to other people's pain, if it is not something he has personally experienced. Sonny tries to explain to him that everyone experiences pain, but we all try and deal with it in our own unique way.
Only when he alone experiences that kind of pain, does he begin to accept what might have made Sonny the person that he was. He recognizes this in his statement "My trouble made his real" (p 149) His selfishness is forgotten as he reaches out to Sonny during this time.