I think that the only thing worse than dealing with the death of someone you love, is trying to help someone else through the death of someone they love. It feels like no matter how many times it has been that you have tried to help someone get through a hard time like this, you just can never think of the right thing to say. But I have realized in my own experiences that there really isn't anything wrong that you can say. .
It is important for me as a friend to help my other friends through their own losses. The most important thing is just to be there and comfort them. I think that no matter how intelligent you are, or how good you are with words, everybody can make someone else feel better. Even if you are not a genius with words, just let your heart speak. My friends don't need to hear the most profound thought that they have ever heard, they just need to hear that eventually everything is going to be ok. .
However, there is one thing that Wolterstorff mentions that you may want to avoid. Don't tell someone that has just lost a friend or family member that it "isn't that bad." Yes it is! Death sucks!! The last thing in the world that someone wants to hear at a time when they are feeling very low, is that its just not that bad. Tell them that they will get through it. Or tell them that you"ll always be there if you need to talk to them. But whatever you do, just make sure that your friend knows that no matter what, they can count on you in this rough time that they are going through. .