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Why Spoil A Good Thing

 

            Headlines throughout our daily lives suggest that children of today are having difficulties showing true character by way of adapting to stress, overcoming adversity and meeting everyday challenges. Among the concerns of experts in the field, is self-centeredness, angry and non- motivated individuals. There is also evidence to suggest greediness and self-control issues. The questions that I am trying to answer here are; what part does consumerism play in the spoiling of children, as well as, the parental role in permitting the existence of the "Kinderdult." (Ehrensaft, 1997) Researchers have found through studies at the Parenting Practices of the Millennium (PPM), studies of adult children of overindulgence (ACO), interviews with parents, teachers, counselors, teens, therapists and school administrators that overindulging and spoiling children will have an effect on their adult temperament causing them to be, "frightened and guilty and confused and conflicted, in their own ways, victims." (Coles, 1977).
             Although parents are not doing this intentionally, they are also dealing with a complexity of many guilt and self-indulgent issues themselves. In families of today, parents are finding less and less time to devote to their children because of their own needs, whether they are economical or emotional. No matter the type of household structure: single parent, divorced or a two-income home, parents are substituting material gratification, lack of rules, soft structure and over-nurturing for true parenting. The "Kinderdult" syndrome is caused by parents giving responsibility to soon, but at the same time treating the individual as a young child, therefore creating role confusion or "little big people." (Ehrensaft, 1997) This leads the child to behave as an adult in certain situations, but also reverting to age appropriate or immature responses in stressful circumstances, preventing them from "developing their age appropriate developmental tasks.


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