Most people are totally changed by their career and education - attitude, self-consciousness and feelings. Richard Rodriguez is not an exception. We can see the significant difference between the person writing the essay and the person described in it. When looking from the viewpoint of a mature man Richard Rodriguez realizes many facts about his upbringing and particularly academic life. He can easily see the eagerness characterizing his whole education opposed to the price he had to pay - distancing from his family and the environment he lived in. .
Having accomplished his degree, Rodriguez says that what it brings him is the ability to speak and care about that fact. A degree like his gives much more opportunities than only a broader sight at one's past. It is true that he realizes his mistakes, but this is not the limit of his observation. To a certain extent he is disappointed by what he has achieved. He wants to be an educated man and an equal member of his family and community at the same time. This is the leading tone of his essay together with the realization of the impossibility of his desire. .
There are many examples like this in human life. Most people put in a situation like this are discouraged by the fact that they have to accept only one "role" - either a son, or a student. Richard Rodriguez, on the contrary, becomes more and more ambitious. Understanding that it is impossible to split himself in two parts he chooses one and goes for it eagerly. After a period of time this eagerness seems foolish to him. This distinguishes the change he has gone through - the ambivalence, the difference in opinions. He analyzes his attitude like a child. It is very different from his present attitude. In this approach he becomes self-criticizing. What he says is that he "intended" to hurt his mother and father. Interpreting this literary does not make any sense. What Rodriguez is saying is that even though he knew how they would accept his behavior, he did not make things easier for them.