Repression of Childhood Memories

This theory makes a good parallel into a situation I experienced at the beginning of my parents tumultuous separation that led to their divorce and how I hardly remember what occurred that night. Flashback to 1992: I hear strained angry voices coming from my doorway. I"m used to yelling so I think nothing of it until I hear the tone of desperation in my father's voice. "I just want to see my daughter, and say goodnight. Move out of the way" my father says. I got out of the warm comforts of my bed and stare through the slit in the doorway where the dim light peaks through. I stand and stare I don't understand what the commotion is about. This was the last night my household ever had both my parents in it.
             The present: I remember nothing else about that night and not much more of what my childhood was like before that night and after that night. My childhood as well as my pre teen years is a blur of scattered images that I"m unable to piece together to grasp a better understanding of what my life was once like. Freud's 1915 article on "Repression" gives his formal definition of what repression is: " that the essence of repression lies simply in turning away, and keeping distance from the conscious"(Freud,147). I've closed off my conscious memory unconsciously so I wouldn't have to deal with the painful remembrance of how deeply that night affected me. I have kept myself distant from these memories so I wouldn't have to deal with them. By repressing the event that took place I was postponing coming to terms with my parents divorce. If I didn't remember that night I could pretend that my parents might actually get back together. If I was " not conscious of certain past happenings and the awareness it could prevent anxiety" (Madison,27)from occurring in my life. Holding on to false hopes helps me to push reality away. Although my repression of this event has made it hard for me to remember what happened, Freud allows me, with a sense a comfort to remember so I can have some closure on my parents divorce when he writes in Civilizations in Discontents:.