My best friend, Tanner, made the best impact on my decision to attend college. He also gave me the motivation and direction I needed to make my decision. Tanner and I call each other brothers even though we are not. No matter the situation we got ourselves into we have always been there for one another, and have done everything in our power to help no matter the cost. There for the advice and guidance we give one another is taken above all others.
Early April 2012, I'm sitting in a chair inches away from the doctor's desk, my head in my hands looking at the cold white floor of the exam room. My legs shaking with a million thoughts and fears running through my mind at the speed of light. As the doctor begins to open the door to the exam room I feel as though everything is going in slow motion. My thoughts suddenly turn to the one thing I most fear she will say desperately praying she won't. She sits down with a saddened look upon her face, and rolls over close to me she puts her cold hand on my shoulder. As she tells me in a sad and consoling voice that since we can't control my epilepsy with medication I can no longer be a soldier. As the words rolled off her tongue my heart sinks through the floor and I feel as though I'm going to throw up. Sadness, anger, and hopelessness fill my mind and suddenly I don't know whether I want to cry or yell out in a ferocious rage. My lifelong dream of being a soldier were just demolished in a matter of seconds.
After I left the doctors and sat in my car all of emotions began to rush out like water through a fire hose and there I was no way I could hold them back. I cried, yelled cuss words, and hit the steering wheel until I was exhausted as if in doing so would help me in some way. Once I was able to calm myself down I grasped the full magnitude of the situation. I remember feeling as though my life was over. Until that point all I knew was the Army and the thought of losing that scared me.