Katz says, "Women tend to see men as a giant problem in need of solution. They tell us that we are remote and uncommunicative, that we need to demonstrate less machismo and more commitment, more humanity"(317). Men want affection, but suppress the idea of it; they do not want to admit their feelings which is influenced by what Katz calls "the Code of Conduct" they grow up with.
Girls learn to prioritize their physical appearance. School sets a standard for the way girls should look and act. In her article, "In Case You Ever Want To Go Home Again," Barbara Kingsolver explains that she wasn't popular growing up because she didn't look the right way. She describes, "In sixth grade I hit my present height of five feet almost nine, struck it like a gong, in fact, leaving behind my self-confidence and any genuine need of a training bra"(144). She says that the boys in her class made fun of her and said she had cooties. Kingsolver states girls also learn to demean their intelligence to gain popularity amongst their peers. They spend more time worrying about what others think of them rather than focusing on their intelligence and education. Kingsolver says, "I'd caught up to other girls in social skills by that time, so I knew to pretend I was dumber than I was"(145). Kingsolver believes teenage girls should not suppress their intelligence to fit in with the social circle, but instead should feel comfortable being themselves and not be afraid to share their thoughts and ideas.
Awareness of cultural expectations and stereotypes leads to better self-acceptance. In the early years of a child's life, parents dictate their child's primary language. In the article, "Se Habla Espanol," Tanya Barrientos says that her parents "declared that their two children would speak nothing but ingles. They'd read in English, write in English, and fit into Anglo society beautifully"(437).