Through an abundance of sex, Jayanthi felt it was a way to assert herself as a powerful woman. However, sex with random men did not give her a sense of herself but instead made her feel more confused about who she was morally: "good or bad, Indian or American" (Bell, 32)? As Bell further explores Jayanthi's life, she finds that during Jayanthi's early sexual encounters with a man, Jayanthi had much greater expectations of the relationship than the man did - the man had been cheating on her with other women. At 18, Jayanthi felt disgusted, betrayed, and major trust issues formed in future dating. Therefore, growing up under the tight grip of traditional, conservative parenting caused Jayanthi to be curious and defiant in order to explore her interests which ultimately lead to social and emotional issues down the road. Jayanthi wanted to give herself a history and she worked hard for it. She tried to compose a story much different than her family's expectations of being a "good Indian girl." In her rebellious efforts, she "embraced the" roll of a bad girl. By doing this, Jayanthi felt more "desirable and attractive." Being a bad girl gave her the ability to control her own identity, "rather than having it controlled by either her family or the men she encountered" (Bell, 34). Although, in the eyes of men, Jayanthi felt naive, passive, and submissive, especially around .
Indian men who expected her to be a pure, pristine, and pious Indian girl. Jayanthi eventually realized she was fed up with her sexual frenzy and identified herself as "a bad girl who was in control," (Bell, 36). The environment you grow in has strong affects on your identity, as seen in the cases of Jayanthi and Claudia. Claudia, whose parents are also religious, feels embarrassed by her sexual desires. "I wish I weren't so horny, so I didn't need to go out and get it so much.