My mother had a difficult childhood and never resolved the animosity she felt towards her parents, so she demanded control and was tough on both my brothers and myself. She was so dictatorial, I think we called her Hitler at times. However, despite the never ending list of my parents' rules and what I felt was their determination to run (or shall I say "ruin") my life, as an adult, I can appreciate how much they wanted to give me the "right" direction and support. I realize that I am a strong person because both my parents taught me to become self sufficient. .
My parents met in British Columbia, where they married before moving east. My mother and father come from very different backgrounds. My father, seven years older than my mother, is from South America – a very different culture than North America. My mother's family was not close and rarely expressed their affection for one another, whereas with my father, family is what mattered most in life. My maternal grandfather on my mother's side (Papa) was a war veteran, and my grandmother a nurse. I recall my father working most of the time throughout my childhood, leaving my mother to raise me and my brothers mostly on her own. From my father, I gained an understanding of the value of working hard. However, it was my mother who ruled the house. When she felt that we were getting too out of hand, she would use the proverbial, "wait until your father gets home" as a means to get us under control. .
I do not recall being particularly close to my mother. There was this distance, or coldness about her, which I understood only when I became older and learned of her own upbringing. She had some resentment toward my grandmother because while she worked, my mother, the eldest, had been tasked with caring for her two younger siblings. My mother's inability to have a close bond with her own mother hindered her ability to achieve a close bond with her own children.