Lily shocks most of the people in her circle, and puts one of many nails in her social coffin when she is displayed in the tableaux vivants. Lily Bart isn't the strongest of heroines even on her best day, but the choices she makes become less and less coherent with the way of life that she deems to want, throughout the story, until she finally has only her friend, Gerty Farish, to lean on. "Gerty learned that whatever sympathy her friend's case might have excited a few months since had been imperilled, if not lost, by her association with Mrs. Hatch. Once again, Lily had withdrawn from an ambiguous situation in time to save her self-respect, but too late for public vindication" (Mirth 276). Most of Lily's problems stem from the fact that throughout the story she is too afraid to see herself as anything other than a "high society" trophy wife. Lily is too afraid to stand up for herself and grab happiness with Seldon because she just assumes she won't be happy without a lot of money at her disposal. Choosing to live differently than the rest of society because you know that is what will truly make you happy, would make Lily a truly independent and strong woman. Lily has moments of strength in defiance of society rules, but her crowning moment of REAL strength is when she decides not to better her situation by blackmailing Bertha Dorset with love letters that Bertha had written to Seldon. Lily's feelings for Seldon, and a newly found realization of self-respect cause her to destroy them, "In its light everything else dwindled and fell away from her. She understood now that she could not go forth and leave her old self with him: that self must indeed live on in his presence, but it must still continue to be hers" (Mirth 301).
Strength doesn't show up where you expect it to, or even where the author may have intended for you to see it. I find true strength in Chopin's The Awakening, but not in the same place as most women would.