Competence has many characteristics ranging from having a wide range of behaviors, the ability to choose the most appropriate behavior, skills at performing behavior, all the way to being open minded and listening. When Arnie Grape eats a piece of his birthday cake and he becomes covered in food. Gilbert goes to draw him a bath but Arnie refuses and pulls Gilbert's hair and hits him. Frustrated, Gilbert hits Arnie back and runs away because he knew what he just did was wrong. That is a great example of one of the characteristics of competence known as self-monitoring. Self-monitoring is known as the process of paying close attention to one's behavior and using these observations to shape the way one behaves [CITATION Adl14 p 26 y l 1033 ]. Arnie doesn't realize what he is doing when he repeating himself at the dinner table that their father is dead. He doesn't realize how that what he is saying affecting everyone else.
Self-Concept and Identity Management.
Who you think you are can be described as self-concept. The relatively set of perception you hold of yourself.[CITATION Adl14 p 38-40 y l 1033 ]. The image that you see and what it makes you feel and think of yourself when you look into a mirror is an example of self-concept. Gilbert sees himself as a guy that needs to fill the shoes of his father has passed away. He also has to manage his identities when he is at home versus when he is at work at the local grocery store. When at home he has to be the care giver and responsible one of the family and when he is at work he has to be the follower and listen to the bosses. This can be confusing to him at times as sometimes he lets the two identities mix and he loses control at home with Arnie. He can have an ineffective impact when he lets his home life come out when he is with Becky also. Interpersonal communication has as big role in social behavior.
Perception Checking and Empathy.
Many people probably don't even realize all the things that can influence their perception.