Speech on Perception Checking

            One of the reasons that people ruin their relationships is misunderstanding. People often jump to the conclusion after they notice something without even wondering if their assumption is correct. Perception checking is a useful tool that helps us to understand others better instead of jumping to the conclusion or assuming that our first interpretation is correct. Perception checking has three parts: description – provide a description of a noticed behavior, interpretations – include at least two possible interpretations of the behavior, and clarification - a request for clarification about the behavior and interpretations. Perception checking is a respectful approach in communication and also minimizes the defensiveness. In reality, I have encountered some situations in which using my understanding of perception checking gives me a better way to react and handle my interpretations.
             The first situation I have encountered is that I was not clear on my uncle's intention. I have lived with my uncle's family when I came to study abroad in the U.S. My uncle and I have a great relationship. The first few months after I came, I eat and share the food in the house with my uncle's family. His wife cooks for the whole family including me. Suddenly one day my uncle asked me to split up and he would give me the a certain amount of money for shopping for food. That means not only I have to spend more time going to the market but also cook for myself. I was very upset with his un-understandable decision but I still have to obey to what he said. I thought to myself "Did I eat a lot of food and he gets mad of feeding me?" (my first interpretation). I tried to figure out why my uncle did that "Maybe he thinks that's better to eat separately so I can eat whenever I want" (my second interpretation). Eventually I decided to confront him and ask for his reasons and receive an answer: it is because he wants me to be independent so I know how to manage the money for food, learn how to cook.