In a few short weeks, we wilI celebrate our five-year autism anniversary. I say "celebrate," because when I think of what Wyatt was like five years ago, and I look at him now, I see a completely different kid. I have a lot to be grateful for and much more to hope for. On the day Wyatt was diagnosed with autism, I couldn't see any of that. Many people have come to me asking how I came to be "okay" with autism. But I wasn't always okay with it. Acceptance was a process for me. Any parent who has heard the words, "Your child has autism" remembers everything they felt that day. Today, I'm sharing that day with you and I will share what it took for me to be okay with autism. On that day, Wyatt was diagnosed with Classic Autistic Disorder (PDD-NOS), Mixed Receptive-Expressive Language Disorder (DSM-IV), and Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity/Impulsivity (ADHD).
I felt my heart break. My partner at the time had been so optimistic, so certain that no matter what it was we would get through it. And I knew by the way she squeezed my hand that her heart was breaking, too. She tried holding me together as she knew my biggest fear was that all the dreams I had for my little boy were disappearing. I could feel her leg shaking next to mine. Even though I tried to prepare myself, there was that "small" big part of me that wanted to hear that Wyatt was "typical" and that there was no need to worry. I tried to comfort myself by thinking of the day Wyatt was born. I remembered the moments after Wyatt made his first appearance into this world, looking his wrinkled little body over, counted his fingers and toes and knowing that he was absolutely perfect. And there I was, this seemingly perfect family being told that her child was not "perfect.".
What was handed to me within the first hour felt like a twenty-page evaluation, detailing all the things Wyatt couldn't yet do and all the milestones he had yet to reach.