Date rape is one of the most brutal mentally and physically damaging experiences for a person to endure. In the typical example of date rape, a woman is the victim, with little to no interest in sex with her date, and an aggressive male is the perpetrator, who either force themselves on the female, or use other means, such as drugs or alcohol, to subdue the woman and get what they want, without the woman's permission. However, there have been studies and ongoing debates that have created a large grey area in between a first date that leads to casual sex, and full-blown forced intercourse without mutual consent. The miscommunication hypothesis argues that many incidences of coercive sex are brought about by simple "miscommunications" regarding the sexual wants and desires of the victim and the perpetrator. I will discuss how theories like this take blame away from the perpetrator, why certain rape victims are looked upon with more empathy than others, and the consequences of that. .
First, let us examine the miscommunication hypothesis. The first component of this hypothesis states that men often misperceive women's friendliness for sexual interest. They also, according to Motley's research relating to the hypothesis, tend to interpret a woman's indirect sexual refusal in ways that suit what they want. For example, if a woman says "I need to go to work early so I can't stay over tonight," this may be interpreted by the male as "let's skip the foreplay and go right to intercourse." Another part of the miscommunication hypothesis suggests that sometimes women will say no to sex, but that men think that they really mean yes. The reasoning is that either the man thinks that the woman is playing 'hard to get' or that the woman does not want to seem promiscuous by giving in too easily. .
The miscommunication theory is quite troubling, as it seems to almost justify the act of date rape or coercive sex, by explaining that many of these men are not violent – they are simply "wishful thinkers", and that women will sometimes use a "token no" when they really do want sex.