The Causes of Fading Memory

            Memory is such a reliable friend, yet when it comes to the matters of love, memory can be rather capricious. For instance, many pleasurable memories that one intends to remember are somehow distorted or completely forgotten. On the other hand, many despairing memories not worth remembering are still vivid in one's mind. Additionally, when remembering a pleasurable moment in one's life, it is not the moment itself that is being remembered but rather the last time it was remembered. In other words, by the time one remembers that specific moment again it has already been distorted by our present surroundings. This memory can even be said to be an invented memory since it is not longer the same. In any case, this experience is remembered not as it originally occurred but as it is influenced by our immediate surroundings, which add elements and details that were not part of the original memory it the first place. Explicit memory plays a major role in remembering and maintaining love related experiences from being lost, although not without distortions. Moreover, any sentimental value assigned to such memories depreciates as time progresses. Sentimental, of course, in terms of how deeply felt and poignant the memory itself is for the person experiencing it. As time goes by, so do the strength of memories as well as their worth.
             Time has a way to change and distort memories, and when something goes wrong in a romantic relationship all of a sudden the memories shared together have a different meaning. An example of this perspective is illustrated in the short story "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, " by Raymond Carver. In this short story, one of the main characters, Mel, states " ˜There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love?' " (Carver 494). In one way or another, behind the moments shared together are hidden and malicious motives.