The issues they suffered with, and the enduring pain I was put through sculpted my mind, and gave me the beliefs I have today. I was not the type of kid to go looking for trouble, but trouble was still able to find me. Long story short the first guy I held hands with I had my first child with. When I was eleven years old I got pregnant. I still remember telling my father, it was the first time I ever saw him cry. I never disappointed him to this extent before, and it hurt more than any other memory seeing him break down in front of me. I did not dare tell my mom yet so I waited until she came and got me that summer. It would have been impossible to hide my belly, because I was almost six months along by then. My mother was furious, and did not know how to deal with the situation so she disowned me. Her decision effected my feelings dramatically. She was disappointed to the point where she decided not to take me back with her. Life went on though, and on the day of November 8th 2008 is when I gave birth to my son, Sturgis. I never thought it was possible to love somebody so much in just a second of knowing them. I knew from that moment on that no matter how much he would disappoint me I would always remain by his side. .
From when I was twelve and to now that I am eighteen I have learned more than I thought would be humanly possible. During those six years it has always been hard. I would say this year is one of the hardest. Every day is new, and every day I'm learning. I know I'm not a perfect mom, but I promised myself I would be better than my parents. From my surprise I failed a lot more than I wanted to. I was raising a child, while trying to be a child myself. There were more bumps in the road then smooth pavement. That did not matter though, because when I looked into my son's eyes every night, and I saw myself I knew he would be there for me too. I loved him and I wanted only what was best for him.