In order to do so, important decisions were made by the men, and it was the family patriarch, usually the oldest male such as the grandfather who had the ultimate authority. Men and women had very clearly defined roles, much more so than in today's modern families where decisions are often made together and roles are discussed openly. In the Sarakatsan family, the men were expected to be physically strong and brave in order to protect their family. It was also socially acceptable for married men to engage in infidelity, whereas the complete opposite was true for women. .
In traditional standards, women were treated as second-class citizens in traditional East Indian society, which was very patriarchal. Taking her husband's last name was a given, not a choice. They were expected to obey their own families before marriage and their husband's families after marriage, at the expense of the former. Even with such obedience, she was often viewed as a type of outsider and with suspicion by her husband's family as to her motives, since she was not born into the clan. Her treatment by the in-laws was often a product of such beliefs, and the custom of marriage and the dowry system illustrates much of the unfortunate problems encountered by them such as domestic abuse and violence.
The goal of marriage was not for love. Instead, it was to raise the family honor and prestige while preserving the bloodline. Neither the bride nor the groom had any say in the matter or choice in whom to marry, and so all marriages were arranged. The bride's family was responsible for paying the dowry to the groom's parents, and the details of such arrangements could become quite complex. If for any reason the full amount of the expected dowry could not be paid, the consequences for the bride and her family could be tragic. In an effort to obtain the missing dowry, property from the bride's family was sometimes forcibly taken from them.