There is a gray area that parents need to find when parenting. You have to be balanced; not too strict and not too permissive (Rampy 1). There should be some room in the relationship between the parent and the child for the child to grow and learn. Children need to make mistakes just like adults. Some of these mistakes come with consequences to pay but the parent should be understanding with the child and discuss what he or she has done wrong. Children can learn a lesson without being physically punished. They aren't stupid. .
Unfortunately, too many parents fail to apply discipline with firmness and consistency, so the child gets mixed messages and a feeling of uncertainty about his boundaries (Rampy 2). This creates bedlam inside the relationship. If there is chaos, inconsistency, punishment (especially spanking), and lack of order, kids may be doing what seems to them to fit in with the general atmosphere (Mendenhall). Parents need to make a schedule of some sort for their children to follow. This will give them some consistency in their lives and decrease the amount of mayhem in the home.
Many times a parent can get carried away when disciplining a child and this can result in child abuse. "There's a danger that getting through to a child with a smack on the behind won't work, and parents may then be tempted to go too far with physical punishment. In addition, hitting can reinforce a child's assaultive or self-injurious behaviors"(Waltz 3). Many times children are abused because their parent either gets too wrapped up in their anger or they don't know when enough is enough. This can leave physical and emotional scars children for the rest of their lives. This is why spanking and any form of physical punishment should not be a choice at all. Why gamble with it? You never know when you might explode at your child and go too far.
There are many alternatives to spanking.