Since that year, I have been to see Becky once every two weeks, and have changed psychiatrists four times. At the time when depression first hit, all I honestly wanted to do was lie down in my bed and never wake up again. There wasn't anything in particular that would trigger my depression "it crept up on me warning-free every day, without fail.
I think about my battle with depression a lot. It is always lingering over me because it has not completely gone away yet. I still take anti-depressants every day and occasionally, you can find me crying for no particular reason. However, compared to my freshman and sophomore years of high school, I am a completely different person. Depression runs in my mom's side of the family: my mother is taking anti-depressants, my grandmother has obvious emotional problems, and my great-grandmother was hospitalized for depression. It scares me to think that one day when I am raising a teenage daughter of my own, she will, more than likely, suffer the same effects of depression as my family and me. In one part of my mind, I wish I could erase that entire part of my heredity "what a horrible thing to pass down to my child! But when I look at it from an optimistic point of view, I realize how much I have grown from being depressed. I now understand why I was feeling the way I was, and how to prevent it. I know what to do if I begin to feel sad and I understand people and the way their minds work better than anyone who has never dealt with depression could. I am more independent, and unbelievably stronger because of it. While, at the time, it seemed as if the world was ending, I can now see how depression helped shape me into the person I am today. I have a whole new appreciation for happiness.
To rid humans of pain would be to erase humanity. Conscience, morals, love "none of these would exist. The world needs physical and emotional pain to keep it alive because when you look into anything, you will find struggle behind it.