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Grief

 

The funeral can serve as a distraction and can help the reality of the loss come into focus. The funeral, wake, and memorial rituals are a way to say goodbye and remember the person we have lost. The funeral is a time for the living to grief openly with the help of close friends and family to help them work through the final goodbye. Funeral's are important to make the death of a loved one become real. It is a time when we can share our sadness with others and begin to accept what has happened. People may feel very tired and worn out from all the emotions that are surfacing. It is very important to take care of yourself and put whatever tasks you can on hold during this time. Some other good advice is not to make any major decisions while you are grieving. The next phase in the grieving process is anger.
             There are two ways in which anger can be expressed they are inward anger and outward anger. Yelling, throwing things, physical activity, and rage are ways we express outward anger. Inward anger is usually seen as depression and physical aches and pains. Displaced anger can be placed on family, friends, and the deceased. During this stage it is important to express these feelings of anger correctly so you do not alienate people you love and may need in the future. Try to turn your anger into something positive by participating in a self-help group. This can help by turning something negative into something positive. It can give you a feeling that your loss helped others to cope with things in there own lives and will help you express feelings that need to be heard. There is great comfort in knowing that you are not alone and others have felt the same way. In the third stage bargaining refers to the fantasy that we can change what has happened.
             During the bargaining stage we would give up anything or do anything to have more time with the person who we lost. We try to live in the past and want our loved one at our side no matter what the cost.


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