At first glance of the bibliography of possible books for this course, I was leaning towards those regarding families and/or adolescence. After noticing someone had signed up for my first choice, Reviving Ophelia, I decided to go a different direction. With my future goals in mind of mastering in Marriage and Family Therapy, I chose a book which would be applicable to a core issue I am certain all couples face and some incur challenges in, intimacy. This book was noted as a self-improvement selection, which of course would do me no harm considering I am currently in a long-term relationship and approaching, slowly, but nonetheless, my ideal age of marriage. Another reason I choose this book, was at the time, subconscious. My mother has always been big into self-improvement books, in fact, she has a small library of them at home, one of which is The Dance of Anger, a book written by the same author regarding issues within relationships as well. I have always been curious as to why she indulged herself in such readings and admittedly consider myself a skeptic of self-help books, therefore, I decided to give it a try and formulate an opinion based on my own experience. Little did I know The Dance of Intimacy would have me yearning for more.
Synopsis of Content.
After reading Harriet Lerner's book, The Dance of Intimacy, there was no question in my mind as to why it was a national bestseller. Lerner does a superb job at challenging conventional matters every being confronts during a lifetime. On the surface the book was directed to women, however the material was intended for an audience of both sexes. .
Some of the main issues covered in the book were change, differences, over-functioning, under-functioning and the relation between them, reactivity, and mothers. Change, the most significant in my opinion, discussed the idea of polarization and becoming "stuck" in a routine role-play type communication style.