I was once told "some people think that holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go." I hate that I can" let go of the past. There is always something throughout my day that brings back a memory from my past. I know it's impossible to turn back time but sometimes I wish I could. It's the little things that I hate like when I hear a certain song that reminds me of my ex boyfriend or when I look at pictures from sleep away camp and begin to cry because of the summers I"m missing with some of my best friends. I wish it was easy to let go of the past but it's so hard to leave something behind that meant and still means so much to me. .
I hate that every time I hear a song, it somehow links my past to my present. I don't want to forget the memories of my past but be able to let go of the impossible. I need to realize that I have to grow up and cannot keep on going to sleep away camp every summer forever. I have to accept the fact that it's impossible to always get what I want. I know I have to take on the responsibility of a job and make money but I always wish I could turn back time to my summers back at Camp Poyntelle Lewis Village. They were the best five summers of my life. No one will ever understand my experience but going away for two months with no worries ever on my mind was the most amazing feeling in the world. I hate that every night, this being my first summer home, I thought about what my camp friends were doing in Pennsylvania while I was home in East Meadow. I will never forget the friends I made there but it's just so hard to hear that they had the most amazing summer and I wasn't there. I hate that I missed every minute of my first summer as a counselor. I hate listening to their songs from the summer and having them talk about all of the other new counselors they met from all over the world. I hate the fact that I still think about sleep away camp knowing that I will never return.